FEEDBACK

GROUP 1:

Your draft was of an exceptional quality.  The research of both the play and the life of the playwright are of a very high standard. 

Now what needs improving? Not much, but here are some pointers:

1.       You seem to use the word socialism considerably.  Although it would seem inevitable to use the word since the crux of your presentation is the relentless battle between capitalism and socialism, you should use other words to describe socialist ideologies; otherwise the word itself reduces in power.  This is particularly evident when Beatry nods to agree with Preudy and introduces the idea that the Inspector’s arrival and departures could represent the turbulent time of the early 20^th century.

2.       I remain a little unconvinced that Inspector Goole represents the “war.”  When you are trying to stress a point as indeed belieavable and accurate, a reference should be made to an essay, journal article or well-educated professor.  For example, when you are expressing the link between the inspector and the world wars, it would be perfectly apt to include a quote from someone deemed an expert of An Inspector Calls.    

Eva Smith would strike me as more of the symbol of the war.  She is the ultimate effect of selfish capitalist behaviour.  Inspector Goole would therefore be the social conscience that results after a tragedy. 

3.       If you are looking to shorten the presentation, I would look at reducing the life of Priestley. 

4.       The quality of your writing is exceptional but at times it sounds contrived.  Too many adjectives and multi-syllabic words can often hide the meaning of what you are trying to express.  Especially since this assessment piece is an oral presentation, simpler, shorter and sharper sentences are needed to express a point of view more effectively.

Overall, well done!  I have made some minor adjustments/suggestions to your script and I will endevour to give it back to you on Monday. 

Your modern day examples were chosen well!

--Miss V